The Reward of Small Gestures
A Pan-Mass Challenge Leadership Lesson
This past weekend was my second time riding the Pan-Mass Challenge. It's a massive undertaking with a lot of build up, raising more money for charity than any other single event in the country (specifically for cancer research and treatment). Between the fundraising and the logistics that go into a two-day bike-a-thon, it's a heavy lift. As PMC folks like to say, "The ride is the reward." This couldn't be more true. The experience gives you chills. It is visceral proof of our intimate connection to others. We depend on one another, and we are at our best when we are supporting one another.
With the PMC, there are a lot of leadership lessons I could harp on – the compounding interest of daily effort, why we should take leaps of the heart, the infinite returns of generosity. What I want to highlight is the power of small gestures.
On the final stretch of the ride, I passed a woman who was standing and smiling next to a life-sized cutout of a man cheering in a lawn chair. This struck a chord with me. I crafted this woman's story in my mind, and here I was, a part of it, some stranger pedaling a bicycle. During the ride, you pass a lot of supporters, young and old, but you don't see everyone. You don't see all of the people who have donated to the cause, those who have participated in the past, the countless lives that cancer has touched and connected. Untold shared suffering, and an even greater wave of compassion to ease that suffering.
I thought of my dad, who was always on the sidelines of my games, my biggest fan. I remember him standing on a median in Boston and yelling to me at the final sprint of my first half marathon. If he hadn't passed from cancer, I know he would have been there to support me – but this cutout in a lawn chair... In most contexts, I’d probably consider it a silly use of materials, but this small gesture reminded me that my dad was out there. I don't know the woman or the man or what their relationship was, but I thank them for their encouragement.
Small gestures have a big impact. Moving forward, I want to challenge myself to make at least one small gesture of compassion each day. Ideally, I'll exceed that minimum, but I want to hold myself to the one, whether it be a handwritten note, a passing favor, supporting someone's cause, giving a compliment, whatever. I wouldn't suggest thinking of this as a problem to solve or a box on the to-do list to check. Rather, small gestures, giving in general, should be viewed more like little pieces of chocolate, a modest reward, sweet to the senses, warming to the soul, leaving you wanting more.
Five free ideas to make small gestures easy:
Carry a little notebook or notecards that can fit in your pocket. I've seen someone who does this with sticky notes. You'll always be ready to write a quick note that will brighten someone's day.
Think of your small gesture for the next day before you go to bed. Write it down and recall it in the morning. This gives you an evening ritual that feels good and keeps you accountable.
Use a threshold reminder. When you walk through the threshold of a room where you interact with others, tell yourself to make one small gesture of compassion before you leave.
Automate it. Give at least $1 a day to a high-impact charity (here are some ideas). If you give $31 a month, you can set a daily reminder that you gave $1 to help others today.
Ask someone what they have to do on any given day, and then offer to help with one of those tasks. Even if they say no, that's a small gesture of compassion.
Question for the club: Do you have any small gestures of compassion that you would recommend?